The leap.

How I Met Your Mother became available on Netflix Instant a few weeks ago and having missed most of the first few seasons save a rerun here or there, I have been watching the show from the beginning. I love this show because I can relate to the characters and their struggles, young professionals in NYC trying to figure out who they are versus who they expected to be, and who they’re going to be with.

Recently I’ve been struggling with trying to write my first novel, and staying mentally tough has been more challenging than the writing itself. I knew it was going to be the toughest thing I’ve ever done creatively, but I hadn’t anticipated the excruciating sense of inferiority and self-doubt, feelings that are amplified by anything and everything I read. It has made me question if I have it in me, whether I should just roll over and accept that I need to modify or scale back my dream into something within my grasp.

Last night I watched the season finale of HIMYM season four, “The Leap,” the episode where Ted has been struggling as an architect and is offered a teaching job but is adamantly against accepting it. Lily tries to talk him out of his lifelong plan to be an architect and to take the job in the following exchange:

Lily: Screw the plan. I thought I’d be a famous painter. Marshall thought he’d be an environmental lawyer. Robin thought she’d be a TV reporter.
Robin: I am a TV reporter. My show airs every morning at 4:00 AM.
Lily: Is that still on? Good for you.
Robin: Someone, watch my show!
Lily: Barney thought he’d be a violinist.
Barney: Lily!
Lily: Don’t tell me things!
Lily: (To Ted) Listen to what the world is telling you to do, and take the leap.

It feels silly to admit days later, but in that moment it was a direct line to the minimizing voice in the back of my head. I’m not going to give up on the idea of a book spine with my name on it, but it did raise an interesting point: when do we make a judgement call on Plan A and regroup? Is it better to stubbornly pursue a potentially unattainable dream and chase the idea that attaining it will make you happy, or find some middle ground and take the leap? 

Software for writers.

Finding the right writing programs is as important as the perfect pen or notebook. Here are some applications that I have used and liked:

Freedom: If your creative output suffers from chronic internet distraction, Freedom solves the problem by eliminating your internet access. Freedom lets you choose the amount of time you want to disconnect from the internet and then shuts down access until time is up. The only way to cheat freedom and regain internet access before time is up is to restart. We all know that restarting can be a pain so even with this loophole Freedom helps keep you focused.
 
Scrivener: This is the Mercedes Benz of writing programs. I have been using Scrivener to work on several writing projects for the last few months and am impressed by how thoroughly conceptualized the program is for creative projects. There are templates for novels, research papers, screenplays, as well as storyboarding and outline making tools. The features are fantastic and the interface is slick.

WriteRoom: WriteRoom provides a no-frills full screen writing environment designed to eliminate extraneous distractions. You can also use this program to sync files between work, home, and your iPhone. 

Write Attack: If you’re the type of writer who prefers to set a words per day quota this program will help put the pressure on. With Write Attack you set a minimum word count goal and a time limit; if you don’t hit your word count goal by the time expiration the program deletes everything you’ve written. It also has special plug-ins for Nanowrimo.

WriteMonkey: WriteMonkey is similar to WriteRoom but with more features to offer such as spellcheck, look-up tools, and the ability to customize the look and feel of the interface.

fiction based on truths.

all writers mine the world around them to varying degrees—whether the borrowed details are broad strokes, skeletal, or true to life with names tactfully changed. i hate it when readers of my writing assume that all detail has been lifted from my own experience, but inspiration has to come from somewhere. i’ve culled plenty of events from my own life and those of people i know, blending the details and threads into a larger, fictional piece. the exception to this is a novella i wrote for a workshop in college (enough said) about an ex-boyfriend, aptly titled “monster.” but that is neither here nor there.

today a friend of mine sent over a draft of a short piece she is work-shopping tonight for her MFA program. before she pressed send on her email to me, she warned that it was partly inspired by and loosely based on one of my past relationships. my name wasn’t outright mentioned but the brush strokes were there. this is a dear friend so obviously i wasn’t angry, i have done the same thing for years. it did make me feel a little sick to see my own experiences distilled in someone else’s words—odd to be on the receiving end of appropriation.

on leaving the party.

in college i took several writing classes under poet and novelist eileen myles. she always brought an anecdotal object into the class to center the day’s lesson, whether the object was figurative or literal depended on her mood.

the lesson that stuck with me the most was a story she told us about going to parties with one of her friends. toward the end of the night he would signal to her, and in the next sixty seconds his coat would be on and he would leave without saying goodbye to anyone in the room. finally she asked him what the deal was, and his response was something like, ‘you have to know when to exit a room and saying goodbye to everyone throws off the dynamic.’

she applied this to writing a story by saying that you need to know when to get the hell out of there. don’t over-explain. when things are good, put a period at the end of the sentence and exit. solid advice.