" yet, even without these dramas, our bubble-like mall existence would have come to an end. you had to do more—go to college, pick a major, get a boyfriend, a job, an interesting scar, a dream house, an educated position on the death penalty. suddenly you had more mail, more keys, more passwords, more toiletries. and all for less praise. people are less quick to applaud you as you get older. life starts out with everyone clapping when you take a poo and goes downhill from there.

— sloane crosley, i was told there’d be cake.