The leap.
How I Met Your Mother became available on Netflix Instant a few weeks ago and having missed most of the first few seasons save a rerun here or there, I have been watching the show from the beginning. I love this show because I can relate to the characters and their struggles, young professionals in NYC trying to figure out who they are versus who they expected to be, and who they’re going to be with.
Recently I’ve been struggling with trying to write my first novel, and staying mentally tough has been more challenging than the writing itself. I knew it was going to be the toughest thing I’ve ever done creatively, but I hadn’t anticipated the excruciating sense of inferiority and self-doubt, feelings that are amplified by anything and everything I read. It has made me question if I have it in me, whether I should just roll over and accept that I need to modify or scale back my dream into something within my grasp.
Last night I watched the season finale of HIMYM season four, “The Leap,” the episode where Ted has been struggling as an architect and is offered a teaching job but is adamantly against accepting it. Lily tries to talk him out of his lifelong plan to be an architect and to take the job in the following exchange:
Lily: Screw the plan. I thought I’d be a famous painter. Marshall thought he’d be an environmental lawyer. Robin thought she’d be a TV reporter.
Robin: I am a TV reporter. My show airs every morning at 4:00 AM.
Lily: Is that still on? Good for you.
Robin: Someone, watch my show!
Lily: Barney thought he’d be a violinist.
Barney: Lily!
Lily: Don’t tell me things!
Lily: (To Ted) Listen to what the world is telling you to do, and take the leap.
It feels silly to admit days later, but in that moment it was a direct line to the minimizing voice in the back of my head. I’m not going to give up on the idea of a book spine with my name on it, but it did raise an interesting point: when do we make a judgement call on Plan A and regroup? Is it better to stubbornly pursue a potentially unattainable dream and chase the idea that attaining it will make you happy, or find some middle ground and take the leap?
